Relationship & Marriage Counselling

Psychology Melbourne’s relationship counselling services have supported many individuals, couples and families facing relationship challenges. 

The importance of safety and belonging in human relationships has long been recognised in psychological theory, including Maslow’s well-known hierarchy of needs. While modern relationships come in a rich variety of textures and colours scarcely contemplated in the templates of even a decade or so ago, they continue to fill a deeply human need. Sometimes, however, they need help. 

What we can help with

Psychology Melbourne's team of relationship psychologists work with couples of all ages, nationalities, and gender identities, at every stage of a partnership: pre-marriage; birth of first child; young marriage to mid-life and older age.  

They address developing communication issues, emotional issues, domestic routines, post-natal and parenting challenges to breaking up and post-separation. 

We offer help for a variety of presenting issues in relationships, including: 

• Communication problems
• Sexual health issues
• Conflict in relationships
• Mental health issues
• Adjusting to the birth of a first child
• Managing the mid-life crisis in relationships
• Managing post-natal depression in relationships
• Older adult relationship challenges
• Parenting issues
• Divorce and separation
• Pre-marriage counselling
• Family violence
• LGBTQI+ challenges
• Cross Cultural counselling 

Our Relationship & Marriage Counselling Team

Psychology Melbourne has a strong team of experienced psychologists who work with couples on a broad range of issues.

The majority of our psychologists work in the Melbourne CBD Clinic and the rest in different locations across Melbourne. You can find out more about our Team below.

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Jill Wright
Melbourne CBD

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Francesco Poci
Melbourne CBD

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Aisha Seedat-Timol
Melbourne CBD

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Assoc. Prof., Dr. Terence Bowles
Melbourne CBD

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Darryl Hodgson
online only

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Dr Mariel Sanchez-Rockliffe
Melbourne CBD

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Dr Ross Leembruggen
online only

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Elly Alija
online only

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Gloria Lew
Melbourne CBD

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Graeme Miller
Melbourne CBD

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Joseph Gagliano
Melbourne CBD

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Magdalene Sng
online only

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Richard Weld-Blundell
Melbourne CBD

Couples Counselling

Our approach to couples counselling includes a structured and collaborative process that may help partners explore unresolved issues. 

Research indicates that couples counselling is more successful when the partners seek expert help early, but many relationships can improve when partners develop new understanding of each other and rediscover love and affection.  

Sometimes couples can have negative assumptions about their partner's motivations. They might be more focused on how their partner needs to change, rather than being open to changing their own behaviour.  

You can't force someone else to change, but by becoming more effective in a partnership you can strongly influence change. In therapy, couples can work on reducing destructive patterns and developing new ways of relating.  

Psychology Melbourne offers both traditional couples counselling as well as our own couples program. 

Traditional Couples Counselling

Traditional couples counselling works best for partners who can manage strong emotions under stress. Arguing and fighting during sessions can slow progress and be counter-productive. 

In traditional couples counselling partners will attend sessions with the same psychologist throughout their treatment. It may include some individual sessions for each partner but generally the couple will work together in most sessions. 

Couples Counselling Program

Psychology Melbourne's Couples Program prepares the partners for couples counselling before the conjoint sessions begin, and to take into account the amount of prior counselling either partner has done.  

One or both partners are assigned to an individual psychologist for the initial sessions and then they both see a third psychologist together for the conjoint sessions. This provides a team approach when working with difficult, entrenched issues. 

In the individual sessions the psychologist helps them clarify their key concerns in the relationship, such as health or work problems, anxiety or depression and/or other social or family problems.  

For many couples, there can be individual issues that obstruct joint sessions. One or both partners may have difficulty regulating their emotions and be unable to express themselves clearly and coherently when working together in the joint session  

Sometimes past traumatic experiences may affect how the couple relates to eachother and individual therapy may be required to run concurrently with couple sessions. 

In couples counselling, the psychologist will help you work on your identified problems and work out a plan of action for you. They will discuss the changes that may be required by both partners to improve the relationship.  

With your permission, an individual psychologist may speak to the couple’s psychologist to support your progress. 

How to get started

Your process begins with an initial personal matching session where your situation will be assessed during 40-minute session by a specially trained psychologist. At the end of that session the psychologist will recommend whether you would benefit from traditional couples counselling (with the same therapist for both of you) or refer you to our Couples Counselling Program.

In either case, you may be required to complete a screening test to help identify key areas of conflict or personality differences, or be asked to read helpful materials and practise some exercises at home.

Psychology Melbourne wants to ensure that your couples counselling experience is effective and rewarding for you both.

Our Relationship Therapies

Psychology Melbourne’s relationship psychologists use a number of different therapeutic approaches, depending on their particular practice background, the presenting issues and the couple’s concerns.

At times they might use a combination of techniques. They may need to address challenging behavioural and communication patterns, sexual, intimacy and other contextual issues which be affecting the couple’s relationship.

All of the therapies used in our practice have a sound theoretical basis and are supported by the evidence of research comparing different treatments and systematic reviews.

• Attachment Theory in Couples Therapy
• Emotion Focused Couple Counselling
• The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy
• CBT integrated into Couple Work
• Family Systems Therapy
• Psychodynamic Couples Counselling
• Interpersonal Therapy
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Narrative Therapy

When should you seek help?

Some couples may leave it too long to seek counselling and try to manage alone because they may feel ashamed or weak. They may soldier on, reading self-help books or trying to keep themselves busy, in the hope that the problems will somehow resolve themselves in time.  Some individuals may turn to friends for support, which may not always be sustainable. Engaging with a trained psychologist can provide more structured and professional help. 

Just like all mental health issues, early counselling can help partners understand and work through their challenges before they become entrenched. It’s important to listen when a friend suggests a therapist to you, they may see the suffering you are avoiding. 

Research indicates that couples counselling is more effective when the partners seek expert help early. US studies suggest that the average couple endures six years of unhappiness before considering professional help. Without support, relationship difficulties can become more entrenched. Seeking help early allows for timely intervention.

Here are some common indicators that your relationship may need attention: 

Communication is failing

Do you and your partner seem constantly to be on different wavelengths? Are you having the same discussions or arguments, feeling as if they are resolved, only to have them resurface and cause more damage? Or do you have things that you would like to discuss with your partner that you hold back on because you don't want to cause conflict? Do you often feel you are walking on eggshells around each other? Do you yearn for, yet struggle to have compassionate and open communication?  

If your conversations constantly deteriorate into heated arguments or wounded silences, it may be time to reach out for help and get things moving in a positive direction. 

You have stopped spending time together

Do you feel disconnected, like you’re living parallel lives rather than sharing your relationship? Are you living separate lives, never setting aside time for you to reconnect? It may be time seek professional help to identify ways to foster intimacy and care in your relationship. 

A healthy relationship provides the support each partner needs to discuss the most sensitive issues without feeling judged or exposed to retribution. Without that, one or both partners can feel tempted to seek intimacy outside the relationship. Generally, affairs only make things worse, destroying trust and more often than not causing deep emotional wounds and resentment. Working with a trained psychologist may help couples improve communication and reconnect emotionally. 

Diminished physical intimacy

Have your intimate physical connections gone missing? Do you bicker over the frequency (or infrequency) of sex or one of you feels constantly rejected? Sometimes a partner's desires can be diminished by external situations like stress at work or being run down. An experienced psychologist can support couples in exploring sensitive issues and developing strategies to manage them more effectively. Whatever the problem, the relationship and couple’s psychologists at Psychology Melbourne will do their best to help.

Family Problems

All families have their challenges and go through difficult times, whether they are developmental problems, communication problems or health and medical problems. Sometime these can seem overwhelming. 

Some families are overworked and under-resourced. Problems may arise with children growing up, relationships between siblings, and with older parents needing more assistance. 

Families with adult children may also have their problems, such as competition between adult siblings and their families, different values and political clashes, and conflict over managing ageing parents. 

Here are some signs of trouble in family relationships:

• Intolerance of different opinions, beliefs, values or goals
• Different approaches to parenting
• Breakdown in communication and avoiding each other
• Repetitive arguing with no resolution
• Bullying, harassment and family violence
• Financial difficulties, bickering and inappropriate control
• Ageing parents and differences relating to their care
• Mental health problems
• Pressures relating to natural disasters and unforeseen events

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